Daily Recovery Blog
Wednesday Apr 2, 2025
"When you stop treating yourself like an ass, those around you
will stop." - Ken C.
BE A FRIEND TO YOURSELFWhen I was forced to stop using drugs, one truth became very
apparent; I hated the person I had become. I stopped caring about
others quite a while back. I felt less than human. My only
friend, drugs, was taken away from me. I was left with somebody I
hated, myself. All my bridges were burned. I could not even look
in the mirror without disgust. I showed up overwhelmed with guilt
and self- pity. It amazed me that I could even muster up the
energy to show up at a meeting. It seemed odd to me that anybody
could care for a person like me. I could not like myself, let
alone love myself. I was told it was empathy. Nobody felt sorry
for me, but they knew how I felt, because they once felt like me.
I heard somebody say, "be a friend to yourself". It was a slow
process, building up some self-esteem. Simple daily tasks
improved how I was feeling, eventually letting me see that the
fellowship loved me when I was incapable of loving myself. The
first friend I needed to find was me.
"The longest journey of any person is the journey inward." - Dag
Hammerskjvld
Tuesday Apr 1, 2025
"When I used, I broke out in handcuffs." - Convict John
PLAY THE TAPE THROUGHI think when I was born; I was given a built-in forgetter. Once I
felt the euphoric feeling that drugs provided me, my mind would
always return to that first high. For many years I had enjoyable
experiences. My mind was set to euphoric recall. I would forget
the depression I felt when the drugs wore off. Eventually, using
had become pure misery. For some reason, I could never remember
that part. Using caused me problems in my personal life. I still
glamorized using in my mind. It amazed me the first time I heard
"play the tape through". I chuckled to myself, when I heard the
next person share, "If you get run over by a train, it is not the
caboose that kills you". My mind worked like this: Something
triggers the thought of using. If I entertained the thought of
using, it became an urge. Once the urge started, I would only
recall the high feeling that drugs provided me. My mind would say
I deserve it; it will help me with the stress I am going through.
I believe that is why meetings helped me so much. It was there
that I heard, what used to turn me on, turned on me. I was taught
about what happened to other addicts when they did not play the
tape through. Today I am going to play the tape through. If I get
the urge to use, I will call my sponsor and go to a meeting.
"Trickery succeeds sometimes, but it always commits suicide." -
Kahil Gibran
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