Daily Recovery Blog
Saturday Feb 22, 2025
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." - Jeff B.
REMAIN TEACHABLEIt was easy to come to meetings and listen. Meetings were a good
place to hear the experience of other addicts. Once the meeting
was over, I still had twenty-three other hours that I needed to
practice staying clean. My sponsor told me my best thinking had
gotten me here. I feel grateful that he had me buy a dictionary
and look up the definition of every word in each step. This
helped me get used to writing. I had not studied anything in
years. My learning skills were very rusty. It helped that I
respected my sponsor's recovery. Learning about how my addiction
manifested in all areas of my life really opened my eyes. After
about ninety days of meetings, I was able to sound pretty good.
Sounding good did not equal living good, however. I was shown
that this is an action program. Each day, I have to decide if I
still want to stay clean. I learned that recovery is progressive.
I read the disease is cunning ,baffling, and powerful. My sponsor
shared with me a process to help me remain teachable. He had me
practice asking for help from my higher power. He had me write
about was troubling me in my life, then share with him so that he
could help me to make a healthy decision.
"Where does one go from a world of insanity? Somewhere on the
other side of despair." - T. S. Eliot
Friday Feb 21, 2025
"In my disease, I was running from the dark. Now that I am in
recovery, I find that I am walking toward the light." - Tony S.
A NEW WAY OF LIFEMy old way of life was that of a junkie. I had long hair. I
listened to the Rolling Stones. I hated authority. I would tell
you my life motto was "Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll". All of my
boyhood dreams had vanished by my teenage years. I know today not
to place any emphasis on my drug of choice or anyone else's. I
was a low bottom user, if there even is such a thing. I sold
drugs to support my habit. This was my way of life. I did have
other jobs. Most only lasted a few months. My way of life was to
stay loaded. There was not much frosting on my cake. Everybody
that I associated with used drugs. My new way of life did not
start by choice. I stopped using drugs only because I was locked
up. My short stay in jail gave me a glimpse of what living behind
bars felt like. I did not want to live caged up like an animal.
At first, I was full of war stories. I glamorized my life. Acting
like a big shot made me feel better. When I was first allowed to
attend a meeting, I went out of curiosity. I went because the
counselors at the treatment center encouraged it. I was hurting
and angry at myself. My recovery was what the treatment center
offered. I will call that therapy. The meetings offered me
spiritual growth.
Did I choose this new way of life or did it
choose me? I do not know for sure. I do know it was like a shot
of hope to me. It came to me at the time; I had the desire for
something different. Meetings made feel better, and I was
inspired by others. I felt safe at the meetings. It was a warm
feeling, knowing I was not alone. I was being shown a new way of
life.
"Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it's dark." - Zen
Proverb
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